Twisted Gopher

CERN - A postpartum-like depression descended over the employees of the Hadron supercollider today, after the first successful test of the big accelerator-loop-thing.

"Damn, I mean we spent a few billion dollars, and after all those years and waiting, some stream of particles flies around in a circle. This is it? I almost wish something would have blown up. Nothing that hurt anyone, of course, but maybe some big-ass piece of equipment melting down. Yeah, that would have been cool." This was the sentiment of Earl Stevens, junior physicist at CERN.

Scott Evans, also junior physicist, tried to defend the collider: "Earl was coming down from the celebration, and he did slam down quite a few beers. I think he was just a little wasted and getting philosophical. He'll probably perk up once we start smashing these little bastard particles together."

Evans added, "you know I really wouldn't mind if we made a black hole that swallowed everything. All this massive equipment sucked into a tiny singularity, it has a certain beautiful irony to it."