Twisted Gopher

Deer Park, Illinois - Don Schumacher, engineer at Conti tech services, has been diagnosed with a brain tumor after a co-worker put the song ‘afternoon delight’ in his head 2 weeks ago.

“I really hate that song,” said Don, “seriously, I am NOT working up an appetite, looking forward to some afternoon delight. Dammit, there it is again!”

Try as he might, Don was unable to blast the song out; he tried zeppelin, tool, he even tried replacing it with ‘kung-fu fighting’. “Yeah I was desperate,” says Don, “I figured even THAT would be better than afternoon delight. But try as I might, I just couldn’t get rid of that bastard for a whole two weeks.”

Ronald Slaker, Doctor at Midland Hospital, diagnosed the tumor after Don came in complaining of a never-ending headache. “It’s a common problem”, Dr. Slaker said, “and it can be a real challenge to treat. Why, we recently had a patient that we’d just about eliminated the tumor through treatment with daily doses of motorhead, when a nurse came in humming a John Denver tune. Sadly, that patient died the very next day.”