Twisted Gopher

Manchester, U.K. - Magnuss Balin joined a small, elite group today - those individuals so morbidly obese that they are unable to leave their bed.
"I'd just gone to the bathroom," comments Magnuss, "and by the time I got back into bed, I'd wasted a good half hour, and I was breathing so hard I thought I'd have a heart attack. That's when the thought, clear as day, almost as if from a power above, entered my head. That was the last time I'll be out of bed, ever again."
"As soon as that realization hit, a peaceful serenity washed over me. Life was going to be better now, easier. It felt so right, I just knew this was the right decision. I'm bed-bound !"

45-year old Michael Horgan was at first devastated after his wife's horrible accident. "I just couldn't cope at first" comments Michael.

In a recent survey 87% of women expressed sentiments of their husbands being "pretty much total losers." Women were asked to rate their spouses in categories of caring, sensitivity, responsiveness to

Wichita, Kansas – “I bet I really would have amounted to something if I had a cool last name like Oppenheimer,” thought James Smucker, 40, as he watched the credits of his latest netFlix score roll pa

Tucson, Arizona - Jeffry Samuels, 45 year old father of 3, called the offices of TwistedGopher yesterday, wanting to go public with his enjoyment of several sit-coms his daughters watch.